Random.....

The end of 2010 was a struggle for me I lost my job, recieved unemployment and lost it because I took a job a should not have and then all my hair started falling out like crazy.

I was beyond stressed my friends, mom and boo held me down. I keep wondering what my lesson I was to learn. I never been so broke in my life, sometimes I felt so alone and started to regret my decision to not to finish college. I filled out a million applications for jobs and I think I had five interviews and I felt defeated and like a failure. I started wondering was God listening to me I stopped going to church and I only stayed in the house. When my boyfriend wanted to go out I declined I was too worried about what people thought of my hair by this time it was coming out in patches every time I combed it. That did nothing for my self esteem which was in the toilet and I didn't think it would come back. Then one day my friend called me about a job starting next week and my whole world changed after all the struggle I was back after that one phone call. I'm grateful for the adversity, so now I can really appreciate the sun. I will never be broke again that is for sure....

I think I realized what I was suppose to learn which is God held me down even when I thought he wasn't there. I never went hungry, I had places to stay, if I needed to go somewhere I had gas and clean clothes. I had wonderful advice from friends to keep me sane. I learned there are some people worst off than me with no one to turn too. I learned to not rush into to things and actually have a plan. I turned 30 and I was thinking this isn't what my life was suppose to be like but I can't change past but I am going full steam ahead.

I am off to a fresh start and I will never regret the nights I cried and the moments I wanted to give up. I have no idea what the future holds but I have big dreams and I pray I can achieve what I want by next year.