Just saying.....

I have not written a blog post in a long time because I've been a little busy but lately a lot has been happening and I can't contain myself any longer. *WARNING* this post will be about celebrities I try to get my celebrity post to a minimum, so just bare with me.


1. A lot of media stories have been written in the past few days about  First Lady Obama's admiration for Beyonce, lets state some history first. When President Obama ran for President in 2008 a lot stars campaigned for him, Beyonce and Jay-Z were no different they traveled around the U.S. with Mary J, Diddy, and etc to campaign for him. On the night of the inauguration Beyonce was invited by the Obama's to perform for them on national television.

When the First Lady decided to make childhood obesity one of her many causes, Beyonce reworked her song 'Get me Bodied' and called it 'Move Your Body' and made a video featuring young children and that was a huge success.

Last year when the Billboard Awards honored Beyonce with the Millennium Award, Mrs. Obama was featured in the tribute calling Beyonce a "role model"  and then this year the love was returned with an open letter thanking Mrs. Obama for being an inspiration and for being role model to her. Their feelings are each other is clearly mutual.

So, I was clearly bothered by the fact that people are upset that Mrs. Obama took her daughters to see Mrs. Carter in concert at her Revel shows. Mrs. Obama recently did an interview with "People' magazine where they asked her,  if she could be anybody who would she want to be? and Mrs. Obama replied "Beyonce"  oh that started a whole different issue. Now I've been seeing comments calling Mrs. Obama a "groupie" and that they "lack' respect for her because she likes Beyonce, This is a prime example of what goes on in everyday life.Two successful black women can't like each other and it makes me sad.

Before becoming the First Lady, Michell Obama was/ is a lawyer, who tutored President Obama so it insults me that people chose to downgrade her intelligence just because she wants to be Beyonce. Hell I have my days where I want to wake up and not worry about money and travel. Mrs. Carter leads a charmed life for sure BUT she works her ass off for every dime she has. Beyonce is considered by many and even myself as a role model, sure she has a rich husband but she's her own woman and people cannot take it, so they say she is always naked or she's dumb.  Making up excuses I assume to make themselves feel better about the life they lead. *drops mic*

Shuffle

List the first 20 songs played on your iTunes shuffle, music tells a lot about you.

Shuffle

1. Trouble ~ Jay-z

2. Sucka For Love ~ Frank Ocean

3. My Love ~ Ciara

4. Love In Da Club ~ Usher, Bey & Weezy

5. Got To Be There ~ Amerie

6. Sweet Dreams ~ Beyonce

7. Go Girl ~ Ciara / T Pain

8. Push ~ Matchbox 20

9. Are U Still Down ~ Jon B. / Tupac

10. Leaving Tonight ~ Neyo / Jennifer Hudson 

11. Joy Ride ~ Mariah Carey

12. Devil In a New Dress ~ Kanye West / Rick Ross

13. B Rocka Intro ~ Brandy

14. Make Me Better ~ Fab /Neyo

15. Talk To Me ~ Mary J. Blige

16. Farewell ~ J. Cole

17. There She Goes ~ Babyface

18. I Gotta Go ~ Trey Songz

19. Know Better ~ Frank Ocean

20. Makes Me Wonder ~ Maroon 5

Top Songs of the year

Songs affect me in a real way, these are the most played tracks on my iTunes 

1. Someone Like You ~ Adele - I loooooove sad songs and I adore this one, I just wish Adele would have let me shot her video for this song. (favorite lyrics) "Sometimes it last in love, but sometimes it hurts instead"

2. We All Try  ~ Frank Ocean -  *sighs* just love this. (favorite lyrics) "I don't believe that marriage isn't between a man and woman but between love and love." swooooooon 

3. Love On Top ~ Beyonce-  before Queen Bey announced that a baby Carter was on the way this was my favorite song on '4' (favorite lyrics) "Baby it's you, you're the one I love, you're the one I need!!!) and the ending *rubs belly* :) 

4. Rise & Shine ~ J. Cole - opening with the Jay-Z quote is everything!!!! The beat, the horns just super, Cole (favorite lyrics) "I spit it, how I live it so when you see me in the street, man,  I ain't gotta mimic. Cause I gotta image to uphold this real shit, I ain't got a gimmick I just got a flow that niggas went nuts for" 

5. Gotta Have It ~ Jay & Ye - people go crazy for NIP but this right here is my shit!!!!! The Neptunes laced that James Brown sample and made this 2 minute and 20 second song everything. (favorite lyrics) "Wassup, Wassup, Wassup motherfucker, where my money at?" - Jay-z. *jigs* 

6. Blow ~ Ke$ha -"dance" I lost my mind and almost wrecked my Focus when I heard this shit. I'm not a huge Ke$ha fan but this gets me extra hype every time I played it. ( favorite lyrics) "we get what we want, we do what you won't"

7 American Wedding ~ Frank Ocean ~ I can write an essay about how much I love this song, seriously. (favorite lyrics) "you can have my Mystang, that's all I got in my name, but Jesus Christ don't break my heart this wedding ring won't never wipe off. But if you stay, you'll probably leave later anyway, this is love made in the U.S.A"

8 The Zone ~ The Weeknd feat Drake - *fans self* I think The Weeknd makes drug music for people high on ecstasy and have orgies but this song is whew. (favorite lyric) "I can't see a damn thing, I can't feel a damn thing" how high are you that  you can't feel shit during sex?~~~~~ Drake - "walk your broken heart through that door, sit your sexy ass on that couch" swoooon

9. Take It All ~ Adele ~ I call this the breaking point song where you are just fed up and trying to figure whether to stay or go. (favorite lyrics) "Maybe I should leave to help you see,....." the entire 2nd verse. 

10. That Way Wale feat Jeremih & Rozay *swaying back & forward* this song came outta nowhere to become one of my favorites because I'm not a Wale or Ross fan  but I can't ignore a great song when I hear it. Jeremih makes the hook butter and the sample is everything!!!! 

Top CDs of the year

Top CDs of the year (in no order)

21 Adele ~ when Adele released 21 back in March I couldn't wait to get it, I was a new fan of hers and it easily the best cd released this year. The cd is filled of songs that goes through ups and downs of every relationship. Nobody sings about heartbreak like Adele, her voice is just amazing.

4 Beyonce ~ the word came around April that Mrs. Carter was releasing a new cd come June. I wondered with it would sound like because once 'Run The World' dropped stans was worried the song didn't catch on it all. Once she performed it on the Billboard Awards the song grew on me. '4' leaked a few weeks early and I couldn't wait to hear it, and it didn't disappoint from the opening song '1+1'the cd rode like musical trip through each decade. She was inspired by sounds of the past.

'ColeWorld' J.Cole ~ when I become a fan of an artist I soak up everything like a sponge I go through all their old music and learn their background, stalkerish, I know but that's how I am. So on Twitter when Jermaine tweeted "9/27, ColeWorld: The Sideline Story" I jumped for joy after being signed to Roc Nation since 09 all the grooming and pushbacks were definitely worth the wait. Cole World is an amazing cd telling his journey from then to now. Clap for him.

Watch The Throne ~ Jay & Ye ~ "Will it leak?" that was the question surrounding the weird release of the most wanted album of the year. They somehow beat the leak which made the release even more special. Twitter had a listening party for the cd that goes from balling to serious. The two rap titans trade bars back and forward on certain tracks and Ye allows Jay to shine on a few by himself. The cd is the best rap release this year, in my opinion. There are a few mishaps like 'That's My Bitch' and the over produced 'Welcome To The Jungle.' outside of that it's a must have.

Nostalgia Ultra~ Frank Ocean ~ Wow. I'm not surprised that this MIXTAPE is on a lot of publications best of the year cd list, it's an amazing body of work. From him reworking Coldplay's 'Strawberry Swing' up until the last track 'Nature Feels' I allowed Mr. Ocean to take me on a trip. I played this on repeat for an entire day the first time I heard it and I couldn't get enough. Although he's a private star I'm looking forward to seeing him in the future. Hurry up with that debut Frank!

Take Care ~ Drake I couldn't wait for this and although it's taking me awhile to get into it, I appreciate Drake for sticking to his guns and being a rare true star. People complains that he sings too much but he never himself said that he was just a rapper.

Phases

I have started to live life in phases. I have just completed phase one after passing my CNA test, I now have a new job working in a nursing home. I started yesterday and I feel great about it, I'm looking forward to getting to know my patients and co-workers. I'm also taking with me what I've learned from past job. I'm excited about phase one and I can't wait to go into phase two.

7 Lies We Tell Ourselves (continued)

Sure you do. Researchers from Harvard Business School, who've recently studied how people categorize and perceive others, say that within less than a second, we make what are known as "spontaneous trait inferences." These are remarkably consistent. All over the globe, it turns out, people instantly judge each other on two main qualities: warmth and competence. People who are judged as competent but cold—for instance, a wealthy tycoon—elicit envy or hostility. People who are usually perceived as warm but incompetent (such as elderly people) bring out feelings of pity. We're still judging with our conscious mind when we size people up, adds Michelle B. Riba, MD, MS, clinical professor of psychiatry at the University of Michigan. "Although when we do this, it's ourselves that we're judging, really, more than the other person," she says. "We're trying to figure out how we fit in."

If only I had a million dollars, I'd fulfill my dreams and do_____.
This little self-deluding chestnut? It's disproved every time we see an attorney who aspires to own a pastry shop and bakes cookies to sell on the weekends, or a baker who goes to law school at night. Somehow, though, we are certain—absolutely certain—that we can't take the leap without a financial guarantee or windfall. It's a Truth, we believe, with a capital T. But getting a few friends together and using a workshop exercise from the famed comedy troupe the Upright Citizens Brigade can help convince you otherwise: "It's called 'heightening,' which is one of the fundamental elements of improv," says workshop director Carter Edwards.

"The idea is that the next person must agree with your self-delusional statement and heighten it by adding something funny and absurd to it. 'Right, you can't open a catering business because you need a million dollars, so you have to win the lottery.' Then the next person adds something else, like, 'You can't open a catering business because you have to win the lottery—and see every episode of The Real Housewives first.'" The idea is to continue until the group can't go any further, so that you have to face that your original supposition, the lie you told yourself, is just not viable. "That's the basis of improv," says Edwards, "not to shame, but to support each other and move past what's hanging you up—through humor—so you get at the bigger truth."

Oprah.com

7 Lies We Tell Ourselves

I wish I could do _______, but I can't.
"I can't almost always means I don't want to," says Amy Johnson, PhD, a Chicago psychologist. "I can't allows us to pretend the choice isn't ours," she says. "It feels beneficial in the short term because we don't have to own our preferences or admit that we have a choice in the matter. But Johnson says that habitually saying "I can't" makes people feel disempowered across all areas of their lives. "I tell clients to say 'I don't want to' instead of 'I can't'—even if it's just to themselves. It gives them their sense of power and choice back."

I deserve this dessert...
Or this dress. Or this car. Or...whatever. "I hear this so often," says Johnson. "These lies let us hide from our real feelings with momentary comforts. The problem is, when the comfort wears off, we're left facing the feelings." Johnson once had a client who said she deserved to indulge in rich food after a long day at a job she loathed. "She believed the food was a reward, even though it was wrecking her health and her energy levels," says Johnson. "No one 'deserves' to wake up feeling awful. My client finally came to see that what she really deserved was to work at a job she loved. When her job changed, the desire for the comfort food decreased."

Johnson says another insidious phrase that people use is I need, as in, "I need that new black dress." "If you're alive and surviving without it right now, then you clearly don't need it," she says. "It might sound insignificant, but changing I need to I want is incredibly freeing. I need sets you up to believe that you'll be hurt if you don't get the thing. I want gives you more freedom."

I'm definitely right.
This is one of the most damaging lies we can tell ourselves, says Carol Tavris, PhD, social psychologist, co-author of Mistakes Were Made (But Not by Me): Why We Justify Foolish Beliefs, Bad Decisions, and Hurtful Acts. "It's called the basic bias—the idea that everyone else is biased, but we're not." The belief that you know best and that you've got all the facts prevents you from even listening to evidence that you're wrong—that your memory is wrong, your perception is wrong, your explanation is wrong. It's self-damaging, in that it keeps you stuck within the confines of what you think you know, and, says Tavris, "it also makes you a miserable person to be with."

I have no willpower.
You have some willpower. We all do, says Roy Baumeister, social psychologist and author of Willpower: Rediscovering the Greatest Human Strength. Baumeister discovered in lab tests, though, that willpower is finite—after people used self-control for some tasks, they had less of it for subsequent tasks (so it's probably best not to quit smoking, get organized and go on a diet on the same day.) But he also found that willpower, like a muscle, can be built up over time through regular training. One of his experiments in self-control involved a simple exercise to improve posture. "For two weeks, people tried to stand or sit up straight whenever they thought of it," he says. "Not only did their posture improve, but they showed all-around improvement in self-control, even on laboratory tests that had nothing to do with posture."

I'll never get over it.
"We're not necessarily conscious of how rapidly we recover from adversity," says Richard J. Davidson, PhD, a neuroscientist at the University of Wisconsin, and co-author of The Emotional Life of Your Brain. (You've probably heard of the research on how people who've been paralyzed are about as happy a year after the accident as they were before; same goes for lottery winners who are no happier a year later).

Richard Summers, clinical associate professor of psychiatry at the University of Pennsylvania, tells most of his patients undergoing a crisis "to allow themselves to really feel some of the negative emotion and to trust nature—those emotions have really a finite lifespan and tend to abate over time." That said, he offers a benchmark for people who are grieving. "There's a big spread, and it's important to remember that," he says, 'but a good rule of thumb is that after six months there should be at least some sense of forward motion for the person." If not, professional help may be one answer.

Davidson says that people who are slower to recover from stressful events actually have brains that are wired differently. Fortunately, people have the ability to change their brains' activity patterns. One of the most effective ways to do this, Davidson says, is mindfulness meditation, which boosts activity in the prefrontal cortex, and studies have shown this weakens the chain of associations that keep us obsessing about a setback. He highly recommends a course in Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction, available on the University of Massachusetts Center for Mindfulness website. But, as with willpower, learning a new language, Jazzercise and so many things in life, the exercises must be done regularly. "To change your brain in any kind of systematic way takes practice," he says, "something there's no substitute for."